What To Do When Your Child Hates Their Daycare


Many children love their daycares and can't wait to go back there--but there are just as many who don't, and many parents feel as though they hear about those children less often. If your kid hates the daycare you're sending them to, what can you do to help them through it and make the whole process smoother for you both?

Start by talking to your child, carefully and patiently.

Don't just dismiss your child's complaints--really listen to them when they explain, and hear what they're trying to tell you. If you can, answer their questions: it can be difficult to get a three year old to understand why you have to go to work, but you can make a start! If your child feels like you're really listening and you'll make an effort for them, they're more likely to open up to you--and more likely to try and adjust to a new situation when necessary.

Have a chat with the daycare staff and see what they can do.

Most daycare workers will have far more experience of this than you do--so ask them what they can do to help! They're also the only way you can get an adult perspective on what's really happening with your child while you aren't there. It may be that they seem entirely happy and playful when you're not around, and the real problem they're having is with leaving you; it may also be that they're having trouble with some of the other children. Whatever the problem, the daycare staff are the ones who can shed light on it for you.

Ask if you can take a couple of days off for a gentle easing-in.

Most daycares have an 'ease in' programme of shorter days and more parental involvement, and you probably went through it with your child when they started there. If you can get some time off work, though, it can be useful to try a gentler and slower version of the method. This is especially useful for helping kids who have developed separation anxiety to adjust.

Give serious consideration to changing your childcare provisions.

It can be easy to catch yourself behaving as though a child's preferences are simply a problem to be solved--but it's important to remember that this isn't necessarily the case. Kids are people just like adults are, only often they're people with a lot less power over the course of their own lives! If your child genuinely seems to hate the daycare you've put them in, are you absolutely sure there's no other option--even simply a different local daycare?

If your child is experiencing separation anxiety, hates being away from their own space or doesn't enjoy the company of lots of other children at once, those are things you should work on for the good of their future mental health--and they won't be magically fixed by moving to a different childcare solution.

Sometimes, though, it's simpler than that. Sometimes it transpires that there's something specific about that place and the people in it that your child hates--and honestly, it's okay for them to feel that way. Adults frequently change jobs because they didn't like their colleagues or found the working environment unpleasant in some way--so give your child the same consideration and hear them when they're telling you they hate something!

About Me

Learning for my own sake

When I was younger most of my learning was about helping my career or making sure I was qualified for new roles. Now that I am older and have some spare time, I am actually starting to get excited about learning for the pure sake of learning new facts. I have started doing a course in Viking history, and it's so interesting. I hadn't realised how complex their society was or how much effect Vikings had had on modern society. This blog is about going back to learning and starting to learn for your own interest, not just for career development.

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